Lunacy

Good news: I'm very obviously not pregnant because bad news: I'm about to die of shock from how terrible these cramps are. I'd forgotten how bad I get them without birth control. So I'm a raving bitch this morning, screaming at everything that annoys me. My attempt at walking the dog left me sitting in the grass, crying, out of frustration and pain. AND I have to work today, a closing shift. MIDOLLLL. We tried getting my bike fixed yesterday at Salvagetti's (sp?) but the front fork is actually bent inwards severely, which we didn't know, which with one wrong bump could send it snapping and me face first into the pavement. So we can't replace that until next Wednesday. That's about $20. I need a new brake system, of course, which is another $40+. To get it fixy, I'd need about $175, but they'll strip the gears for $5 a gear, I think? So yeah, that's a shitton of money just to fix up this bike. We went pawnshopping and thrifting in hopes of finding a quick fix bike, but they were all either clunkers or in the $80-$200 range. We did come across a really sweet military mountain bike that looked like it could destroy a car. About $300, second-hand. I thought about buying a go-ped, but how stupid would I look on one of those things, damn...
So we just went thrifting for a while and every pair of pants I tried on wouldn't fit over my ass. I'm gaining weight like crazy and somedays love it, most days hate it. It's so uncomfortable gaining weight. I don't mind the extra pounds and curves because I've never been one to have them, but these pants and these cramps are not meshing well. I just want to lay in bed all day and smoke cloves, drink hot chocolate and watch the Independent Film Channel. Like I have any of those. Maybe hot chocolate. But I've been bad and stealing drags from James' cloves, which I've missed so much. We rolled a blunt last nite and smoked all of it to ourselves and smoking his cigarettes was the most I could do to keep from losing it. We went through all of our art and critiqued it. And I've been thinking about this alot lately, but I want to go back to Rocky Mountain College of Art & Design. Perhaps I could get a portfolio scholarship like last time. I don't think I'd survive vet tech school, even if it is only 8 months or whatever. But I sure as hell cannot work for Starbucks forever. I know I will snap one day in the middle of a Frapuccino rush and start chucking blenders.
I HATE FRAPUCCINOS! If you're going to come to Starbucks, get coffee or tea or something that's actually considered a bar drink. If you want a sugar packed terrible tasting cup of shit, go next door to 7-11.

Oh! I got my think tank tattoo gift certificate. $50. I think it's $50 an hour there... so perhaps I can use this to get something small somewhere. Must do some research on that. But I forsee this becoming an addiction to replace other addictions in my life and probably running me into debt. ...How much do tattoo guns run?

:/